i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it

He tells me 2 recieve his calls n do so many tins on his behave but why im i feelin dis way? So I have NEVER suspected my husband of cheating til recently. He would never do that to me, that he didnt need two wemen bitching at him that one was enogh. Required fields are marked *. However I cannot guess what is goign through my partners head. What do you think about talking to a therapist, just to sort through your issues? if one in every two men cheat, than a guy with two friends, has a 75% chance of having a cheating friend, its just numbers, and it means nothing. If I could help you, what would you like me to do? 3John2, Been there too honey.weve been married 20 years and have 3 kids so I understand the place youre coming from. but he got angry and emotional the last time. Just please help me and honestly I thought about not calling him anymore I used to call him in the morning and he would stay on the phone until my son got on the school bus but now he doesnt do it anymore sometimes I literally have to keep calling him just so he can answer doesnt work for me now would it be best if I didnt call him at all or just continue to do what I have been doing everyday. Our sex life is non-existent. I want you to come back and let me know how youre doing. May God give you peace, strength, and even joy as you walk forward into the next stage of your life. His classmates referred to them as couples. after being together for a few months we got married and all I could think was how wonderful he was and what a blessing he is to me and my daughter. You get what You allow. So please, for your sake and the sake of your fertile eggs, look for the red flags and DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES for his bad behavior. He already disrespected the relationship by (1) going over there and drinking (it should only be about his child) that doesnt require liquor. Id gladly swap this jittery post-nightmare reality for what we had before (which was a happy marriage) to not have to have gone through that. They will try to blame you for not being able to trust. Yes, we had hard times, but we were strong enough to get to this point where we get married. (He doesnt know I check his Google history search box from his iPhone from time to time.) I had a 1:1 that he agreed for me to talk with her about this. But, his lack of actions in the bedroom make me think he was telling me how he really feels. You will also want to consider that opening a relationship with another man out of hurt or frustration will cause further damage to your relationship and make you look bad in the end regardless of what he has done. I never forgot his birthday. I asked him about it many times. Now he is back in our lives me and my three children. I saw chat between him and this girl (from the same last duty station country), they try to meet up several times. nothing .. just dont pay him any attention.. thats the best way .. one day he will see what he lost if he really loves u.. act as if u dont care what he is doing , go out with friends and have a good time .. i promise the thoughts are still there and u wish he was there .. Do U!! My gut feeling has never lied or been un true in the past I believe in the 15 years there has been at least 5 please help Im very desperate to have closer Ive never stayed with a cheater but hes slick I could never catch him. I never sensed that he is cheating on me, but my instint tells me he is. iim really confused whether he is realy cheating me or im just spoling my mind by suspecting him. No he has a secret password for his phone. I convince myself that hes only here because she didnt want to leave her husband and kids. He was and always has been the most affectionate man who couldnt keep his hands off of me for 10vofctyesec12 years. Please and Ty Melissa. He pulls another trick. We I confronted him once he was very defensive and said he would never cheat on me. 6 years ago I caught my husband talking to another woman on the cell phone. Dont ignore it any longer. Its often helpful to write down your fears and concerns or talk them through with someone you trust and respect. This time he says i told her on her other facebook page which isnt on my facebook that I have a woman and to leave me alone but she just wont stop. He did not know it was me, and we exchanged several explicit emails. Be vulnerable. I think my husband has cheated on me or have the intention of cheating; with a former classmate of his. If youre looking to know if youre husband is cheating, there are certain ways you can catch him out: Once you have gathered that hes cheating in some manner, its time for you to collect as much information as possible. Sad that people say guys who cheat hang out with other guys who cheat when a matter of fact, my friend is getting g a divorce with his wife because she is the infidelic person. Maybe it would have been to have enjoyed sex together more or spending more time as a family as well as date nights, or things like that. Im livid now & want to tell his wife! I wish I have known, I spent 3 years with himI feel stupid to trust him and every maneven though telling his wife makes me feel better but Im not there 100%. I dont know for sure if I hid all the rest of them before he supposibly threw that one out and that could be why he only threw that one awaythen today he was talking to me on the phone and said hang on and he put me on mute and it was for no longer then 2 mins maybe but he said he asked the guy for something from the liquor store and I asked what and it took him a couple secs to answer and he said a blunt wrap but I know he smokes blunts when he isnt at the house and told me before! According to Winter, deciding whether to tell your partner may ultimately come down to the type of infidelity it was. Men love to look at younger, better bodied women. I finally see him for what he is after 10 years together. But I now not sure because I saw his text (he has passcode but luckily it was unlocked) and he was talking about sex position with this girl and say he wanna try next time.as I think they were friend with benefits so before was long time a go or anytime near today? He is remorseful at hurting me and our marriage. What do i do? My gut instinct took over and I went through his email and found disgusting emails from him to other women, lining up dates to come ride his.. I think its progress that he admitted to this and did so as an attempt to save our marriage. This couple, after meeting them, acted strange. In my opinion hearing it from him myself is the only sense of relief you'll get. He has had a phone relationship. You are living a fake marriage and absorbing pain and suffering at the same time. She just looked at me and said nothing both times. ! If you dont feel secure, safe, and settled in your relationship, then theres something wrong. The distraction will work wonders for your mental health and help to get those happy hormones pumping through your body. Plz help. WellI have no way of knowing if your husband and sister are both lying about cheatingbut I think you need to listen to your gut instincts. It sounds like your gut instincts are telling you that something is up with your husband. NOT his typical behavior so now it has me wondering. He was angry. I had to go and start a therapy as I was losing interest in food and life in general . When we was together for the first part of our relationship there was this girl who I considered a good friend and all of us went to church together. But why cant I shake this feeling? Ever since I was pregnant with my first child, he has called me horrible names like whore and slut. It was all so awkard and odd. You would look me directly in the face with loving eyes and tell me that it was nothing. i have closed my old one, but he hasent even added the family and friends he wants to. The wife of one of his friends wont tell me the truth about anything that happens, and neither will any of the guys. He has every single sign of an affair. I saw a few times where he called her on his way home from school. He brings me presents, buys me shoes and takes me out more. Romance her like you would in the beginning, most men act like once they have the woman the work or effort is over. Get out..stay out.. go to Coda, 12 step program or Al-Anon, & learn. This is every mans fantasy, isnt it? While Im in pain he continues to talk to her and other females he continued for another month he stop when he felt like it he did not stop because it hurt me Ive thought about leaving Im learning how to forgive slowly.. but i do not forget.. I was trying to convey this to my H tonight when he tried making me wrong for having trust issues. I cannot take it anymore.what Iam suppose to do??? We have kissed occassionally). Let the other person deal with that drama. I know it feels like your world is ending .. back to the women who messaged you she wants your life she is jellouse . Elisa said that she had a weird feeling, and she found her husband viewing the profile of another woman on Facebook. Hell keep cheating and lying until he decides to leave you. Suspicion, paranoia, and distrust are unpleasant, unhappy places to be. We get married and I feel happy. Such BS. Last year july he told me that he was going on a fishing weekend with some guys from his work, i did not think it strange as he did that often. Weve also had therapy, and he doesnt seem to take ownership or show empathy for his actions, expecting me to get over it and understand how this being out in the open looks on him. I dont understand how I failed our marriage and he cant tell me either. He mentioned to them that he was leaving me. i need your help to figure out if he is cheating on me because i have no idea, for a couple months now he has beeen very distant from me with affection not reall wanting to be affectioniate with me. Its ok to stand up for yourself, its ok to want to be treated fairly and with love and respect. Plus, always remember, even if your marriage doesnt ultimately work out regardless, it was far from your fault and you shouldnt take your insecurities into a future relationship or marriage. and leaves office at 5.20 to 5.40 somtimes early . Dont give him your power. Just found the messages in his phone. So I need a bit of help. i feel it is just too early for us to have all these problems.we are just total strangers to each other cos we dont share any privacy together. Chrissy, anytime someone breaks our trust especially in marriage, its like a two by four hitting us in the trust zone. What I dont get is if hes not married and cares about her why dose he not break off the marriage? We didnt have much of an emotional connection, I just chalked it up to the fact that is didnt talk much to many people anyway. I know he was with other people before we got together and he says she is a stalker but I talked to her and she knew everything about him. Who would have thought it would have taken getting divorced to wind up in such a situation? We fought and fought. She listened with disbelief to her husband, Chris, a respected pastor, confess to pornography addiction, numerous affairs, and the startling news that another woman was pregnant with his child. The biggest eye opener was when he used something I told him that Was very hard for me to tell him against me. I decided to look through his mesages and the only thing I found was his friends/coworkers sending him pornographic photos of women a couple days before our son was sick. Unfortunately that need inside coupled with insecurity and weakness has created a flood of uncertainty in a good marriage or potential relationship. Meanwhile, I just had a baby. Think of porn as drinking coffee. He would see his friends maybe once a week and this was enoughThese past few months he has been spending a lot more time then usual with his mates (maybe four times a week now) and when I have told him off about it he basically tells me to accept it or find someone else which is a totally different approach then what he would usually take.. A lot of new young girls have been hanging around his friends house as well because his little sister (who lives there also) just turned 18. Its a 5 minute walk from the house and its been nearly 3 hours. Chances are, the frequency that they talk will start to fizzle out as she gets her stuff together. I set up a place for us to meet and he showed up. Ive now become a prisoner of my own home as well as a prisoner of his. Taken at face value, this research might seem to just support sexual stereotypes: Women are just concerned about the relationship, and, for men, once a cheater, always a cheater, regardless of their relationship. His selfish, he want to enjoy his self. Just as I am writing i am thinking of dropping the relationship coz I have a feeling I might not win this though i love him so much. Someone please help. Hes cheating and lying, and he wont change. An incident happened this weekend and I wantnto get your opinion on this. Im not sure of my feelings because of all the hormones! Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you? Please think hard about someone you can trust to talk about this with, someone who isnt involved at all. Never do this! When he returned to working his night shift, I had a weird feeling and felt compelled to check his Facebook. I am truly sorry and know your pain I am going through divorce its hard as hell going back to school further my education moving to FL after divorce .. please take care of yourself and know your not alone hugs .. You dont know how some woman reacted. Samantha- I read your story. Jan, If you happen to see this Id LOVE the link to that motivation video. I checked his laptop and saw that he has reactivated his FB account several times. I ask him and the girl and they both denine it. Every marriage breakdown is complicated and it might not be as black and white as because he cheated. My husband worked for a female boss in 2007-2010 during the economic crisis, the company suffered huge financial loss, and she begged him to stay on but stopped paying him. I mean he has telling me stories that they went out with marines, or did that or third, but nothing about meeting or becoming friends with a female. I of course questioned him about it and he said he got it just in case, without any hesitation. I have to agree with a lot of the points you make. So you can move on and steer clear of losers like this. Like if there is an excuse for that. He doesnt hold my hand anymore, hasnt said I love you to me since I have questioned all of this. He admitted to me that four months ago when he learned she would be transferring to another site he bought her a small gift a necklace. This is the point where we start a steady decline. me! I KNOW there is something going on. Raquel. hi : you said you have been together for 12 yrs girlfrnd and boyfriend, 12 yrs is too long, did he propose to get married to you? If you live together you may wish to take yourself off to stay with a family member or a friend, although this can be hard when there are children involved. Asked him to give her up, he would not. Are you waiting for this piece of garbage to do the right about face and love you? Pack his stuff up; change the locks, be ready with the police if needed and keep his pathetic a*** out hun xxx. Hi Jan Of course women cheat! He used to come home between 3:00-3:30 pm always except for when there were leaks of gas, then occasionally, hell call hell be late. i just keep finding conversations with him and other girls. What do you need to change, in order to be happy? I am a very jealous person, so I am always asking if hes cheating or doing other stuff, But here lately it seems worse. He was the perfect husband and dad, caring, helped around the house, gave me surprises every know and then, that is why I never suspected it, and now I am totally confused and do not know if i should give him an opportunity thinking he will never do it again. Oh how I feel your pain. Your response to Naive had a huge effect on how I have been feeling about my own situation and has helped me towards finding the best solution and/or direction for ME more so than for my husband and I. I always justified his online activities and never thought (or wanted to think) that they were any kind of threat or not enough to worry about because after all, its ONLY entertainment right?? He did not answer his phone, so I called her phone and asked where he was. I dont think its stupid to fall in love with a man, trust him, and believe that your marriage is healthy and happy. My husband admitted he never stopped 4 ongoing emotional affairs during our entire marriage. According to Neuman, you can not only prevent your husband from being unfaithful, you can learn how to tell if hes lying about cheating. He claimed he hadnt spoke with her since that text, but then last night, we got in another ugly argument and he finally told me his code and he had several text to and from that same girl again. Life is too short. Please. It doesnt hurt that its fun. So I want to ask you as a man in this circumstance do you think my husband is lying or tell the truth? And no woman should suffer from a man like that. As someone who was cheated on, I know all too well the pain, humiliation, and, at least in my case, the feelings of worthlessness that came with it. I use skype for videocalling mainly and with the people who really matter to me a whole world. He says he isnt interested in any of the women where he is and he tells me he has learned his lesson. I been in a relationship with a man who is separated from his wife. Let's pretend I have proof that your husband never had an affair and that this woman is just a super awesome work friend who makes him laugh. There are many hurtful circumstances which must have lead to the mistrust. 10? He went to theatre to watch it. Seriously, If it were yourself would your spouses anger be justified? It means youre avoiding problems. Please help me. Karen, I really think you need to ask him about his odd behavior. He moved her in paying for her house.just next door to us! He wrote The Truth about Cheating because he wanted to empower women by showing them how men think which includes why husbands cheat on their wives. He and this girl stayed friends that whole time, and I was certain they would end up togetherbut they DIDNT. You stayed despite knowing he spent the night with another woman irrelevant of whether he had sex. I know hell use this fight as an excuse to come and go ad he pleases for a while. A liar, cheater and thief. Coz I feel as if I know you. On my way in I ran in to a mutual friend who asked me where my husband was. Second time,.. 3 days after my birthday I check his phone again, theres a picture of some girl he claims to know from the Firehouse since he is a firefighter as well. I know you dont feel it, but start building self respect by treating yourself with respect. I bet he wont mind (proving that he doesnt care if you find out about thoes msgs) and after you delete about 10, youd realize why he didnt delete them all, its just too frustrating. Then after that his not interested in trying again. Our intimacy has came to a hault, we went from numberous times per day to maybe 1-3 times per month since March. It sounds like youve learned how to cope without living in a bad relationship, and youre much happier. He started to change, being very mean, being out late, changing his phones password, blocking me. I have decided that it is time to move on with my life and we have three children in the midst of this. I cant let it go. The reason Ive accused him to begin with is because things just dont make sense. It doesnt fit his personality at all. Hello. Then I realized that since he had a vasectomy, he probably didnt wear a condom. I too found out on that date that my husband of 26 years (33years together) had been cheating on me. Or goes to work. he responds by saying, thats so weird, i dunno babe. May you find peace with whatever your future holds, and may you be strong enough to move forward with what you know in your heart is the right thing for you to do. This October woukd have been my 20 year anniversary. Going through it was the worst experience, sleepness nights, fear, doubts- and four years later life is better but Trust is just not there anymore. I dont know what to do. I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts. is that really the message you want to send out? Everyone here who has been cheated on empathizes with the spouse of a cheater because we know the pain. I confronted him about the texts and told him I wanted to end our relationship, but he is adamant that nothing actually happened (he admits to leading the girl on via text but maintains that nothing else ever happened between them). Not to mention I also saw his exs name in the history also. Thanks for your thoughts on private investigators helping wives find out if their husbands are lying about cheating, Angel! He has a lack in the bedroom. I axcept, the other lady then got married to other man. My daughter just gave us a beautiful grandchild, however her husband has not been interested in her physically since she got pregnant.